We are taught to focus on the positive, be positive… nobody wants to hear and be with miserable… and to some extent this is what I teach. And I get this, and we see much of this on social media, everybody just sharing the highlights, the show reel of their lives.
And I have wondered about that ‘Law of Attraction’, with me sharing my pain and lowlights as well, am I attracting more of the same… I have meditated and analysed and thought much about this… so I am not sure if I have an answer but here is what I do feel and see…. we connect deepest with people when they share their pain… it seems the power of empathy is perhaps one of the deepest levels of connection… because whatever I may have thought about you before when I hear your story of some of the real life pain of what you have been through I then connect with you on a whole new level and any other judgements (and please don’t tell me you NEVER form judgements… that’s a whole other chapter), we may have made seem so insignificant. It also makes us all feel less alone… there are always plenty of people around to celebrate our success and good times but it is when we are in pain we need some people to sit with us and they can only do that if we are honest about it.
When does a community connect the most and it moves us to tears… yep, when it is in the midst of a natural disaster and people come out to help that neighbour that they have been living beside for 5 years and never even met… and find themselves connecting on a whole new level… so sharing your pain doesn’t make you miserable… I mean you don’t need to be negative and melancholy 24/7 ..that is not what is is about.
I think with the whole positive thinking movement we take things to extreme… you still have to invite your pain to come and sit with you, what you resist will persist. And I think it was in the teachings of Abraham, that I read you can’t put a smiley sticker over the top of your empty fuel tank gauge and just be positive about not running out of fuel! At some point you have got to be honest about where you are at, stop and fill up the tank… and of course at the other side of your pain is joy, so give yourself permission to get to joy! If you have some pain today I send you a hug, empathy and understanding and if you haven’t then roll around in ecstasy in your joy! And it is also worth remembering the gifts that people who have been through pain bring to our society.
When we look at all of the people that have made a real difference in our worlds, our society, our communities an our neighbourhoods, so often it is people that have come a place of ‘pain’… and I am not talking about academic advancements and differences but emotional and social advances… I am talking about moving people to advance spiritually and emotionally in the way we engage with each other.
The people affected by a child with a disability become passionate advocates, teachers and supporters of others. Families affected by the death of a loved one from a certain disease or cancer often set up foundations to raise awareness and money to help others… people affected by domestic abuse become Councillors, Social Workers and help others…
So perhaps the Universe does choose the strong among us (even though we don’t think we are or know it at the time) and gives us the special job to be the leaders and to help guide people through their inevitable pain… because life will have some to dish out for sure… and certainly with what my colleagues and I do from the stage… well you can’t deliver a truly moving, inspirational and life changing message just from your head… a little heart wisdom is required too and that comes through having lived it… the stories we tell is data with soul attached and people connect to and resonate with that, so if you are in any pain at the moment I send you love strength and a knowing that you will come through to the other side… x