Loving with Autism Update: Formal

You may have noticed that Thomas just had his formal… and it is one of those milestones isn’t it? One that while we were in the midst of smashed walls and windows I would wonder if we would ever get to experience with Thomas, but we did and he got a suit and a tie… and that is a story in itself.

You see at his Dads funeral Thomas was 8 and still very limited in his ability to communicate and comprehend verbally. He wore a Cowboys Jersey to his Dads funeral (his Dads favourite team), and Jack wore a nice shirt and pants… and of course many of the men wore suits and ties.

It would be about 4 years later when Thomas had learnt more words that we would visit Dads grave one day and Thomas would say, ‘Mum, how come Thomas (he always refers to himself that way), how come Thomas didn’t wear a tie to my Daddy’s funeral?’… and my heart broke as I thought of this little boy that had looked around the day of the funeral and noticed the men in ties and had been wondering all this time why he didn’t have a tie on and finally he had the words to ask. I told him that boys don’t have to wear ties to funerals and that Daddy would be very happy he was in his jersey.

Sometime later I then gave Thomas some of his Dads ties telling him he could wear them one day.

We would then have the most painful funeral to attend when our dear friends lost their son… we went to his funeral and Thomas again noticed the sadness and the ties.

And then one day Thomas walks into my room with a tie on and said, ‘Look Mum, I have my funeral clothes on!’… so as my heart broke a little for this young man and how much sadness he had already witnessed, I asked how learnt how to tie a tie.. ‘Well’… he said, ‘I googled it!’

I then explained that people wear ties to weddings and parties too!

He then saw Jack wear a tie to his formal and Thomas was looking forward to the day he had his formal.

So on suit shopping day Jacko told us that he heard ‘Politics’ at Chermside was a good place to get a suit. Josh met us as we walked in and proceeded to make friends with Thomas and gave him the best service ever! I didn’t have my glasses on and I did start to think that I may be in for a surprise with the price when I saw Thomas look and the price tag, get a shock and whisper to Josh, ‘Don’t worry, my family are going to pay for this!’ lol… and his family did.. the suit, tie, shirt etc a lot of $’s!… the look on his face in his suit… priceless!!

He totally loves his suit and tie and asked me when we were going to a wedding or party again so he could wear his suit…

So happy they are now his party clothes and not his funeral clothes… a reflection of the happy place our life is in after the pain we have been through. x

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