"> Celebrating the support of the 'new guy' - Julie Cross

Celebrating the support of the ‘new guy’

Thank you to you all for your support yesterday following my anniversary post… and in your comments many of you talked about the support of my new guy… and it should be celebrated.

Yesterday morning as we sat in bed with our morning coffee (that he gets every day), we started to chat and then I said to him, ‘I just need a minute to write something and be with my memories ’… he said, ‘No worries’… and he sat..

And he watched me type, he saw me crying as I wiped away my tears as I expressed my emotions around Flash, the pain, the missing, the loving and the now… and he said nothing. And that was exactly what I needed him to do. I knew he wanted to reach out and hug me and tell me it’s ok and I don’t have to be sad… I know he wanted to fix it… and I know some men would have felt threatened by the depth of my emotion for my memories … but not my guy…

My guy did exactly what I needed… he was quite but he was there… and in his presence and his silence he gave me the safe and secure space I needed to be with my memories, do my emotions and feel my life, knowing that none of it needed fixing, it just needed to be expressed, honoured and felt… and for that I am grateful.

In Brene Brown’s Netflix Show she says:

‘Show me a man who can sit with a woman in shame, fear or vulnerability and not try to fix anything, but just be there and listen, then I will show you a man who has done his work and doesn’t get his power from being the fixer of all things’

My guy listened just by being silent and honouring my need to have my moment to write, cry and express and be vulnerable while dealing with some fear and shame within my memories… without trying to fix, negate or feel threatened …

Yes, glad I picked this guy… we are both ‘doing the work’ and it’s a work in progress… but we are winning for sure!

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