What are you reading and listening to?

Hey friends, Julia Cross here. Got a bit of a story time for you but it’s a bit of a different story this time. I discovered this– well actually my mum found it for me and she gave it back to me. And I’m talking about this actually at my building resilience workshops with the children and their parents.

And it’s obviously just an old exercise book from school and I think it was from when I was about this age, and I looked like this. Haven’t changed a bit, have I? And so, mum found amongst all the things at home, and said maybe I’d like it. And it’s got here, Julia C., nice things. That’s kind of what’s written on the front. And inside is a collection, and I remember doing this now, a collection of quotes, some that are copied out of a Reader’s Digest on an old typewriter. You’ll notice all the white out there. And others that I have copied out of some books or found somewhere, lovely verses, inspiring messages that I’ve written in longhand here.

And I had a look through it, cause I couldn’t remember exactly what was in it. And so I had a look through it, reading it, and you know, it’s pretty amazing. Cause what’s amazing is, to think that I was writing this at that age and obviously reading it regularly, and knowing that I perhaps needed this.

And life wasn’t always perfect as it often isn’t in families My dad spent a lot of time at the pub and there was fights and all sorts of stuff going on. So, then I had my challenges at school. I wasn’t a popular kid; I was pretty uncool. So I had my stuff going on like we all did and we all do and our kids do today, our children do today. So somehow, I knew that I needed something.

And I started writing all of these things down and with verses in it like, “To be a friend, “a man should remember that we’re human magnets, “that like attracts like, and what we give, we get.” And now one of the lines in my song is, “I give and I receive.” They say that if you want to know what you– if you haven’t found your dam or what you’re here to do and you wanna know what your passion is, to look back into your childhood for signs.

So it was like I was on track right from here, but I had to go on a long journey to get onto the stage. And so, when I read this, I’m amazed that I was reading these sorts of things at that age, and writing about these sorts of things at that age. So I just wanted to read something that I’ve written in here, which is such a great message for me today.

And I guess what I was trying to say is that this was a foundation for me. This was my soft place to fall when life wasn’t going well. I had found this and created this soft place to fall, somewhere to go to give me these inspiring messages when I felt like I was being challenged. And we all need something like this. So what have we got? What books are we reading, what are we exposing ourselves to, and what have our children got? Because there are some wonderful memes that flash up on Facebook but in amongst that there’s lots of energy-stealing messages as well that are teaching us to compare and etc. etc. and making us feel less than great.

So what is our soft place to fall? What foundation are we building? A foundation of resilience and coping and strategy? What messages are we absorbing and taking in? Because I can see now that without this foundation, I would never have coped with life’s challenges that I’ve had as an adult and particularly in the last 14 years, 10 to 14 years. Because, listen to one of the messages that I’ve written in here. And I didn’t write this; I’ve copied it out of something. And I can’t credit the author, so bear with me. It’s called Self Image. Ah, fancy, my sparkle is alive, self image!

“Many years ago, my father sitting opposite me at the table “and puffing away on a cigarette gave me this advice. “‘Kid,’ he said, and he always spoke that way. “‘Kid, I’m gonna tell you something “that I hope you’ll always try to remember. “Survival in this world is very hard, “but it can be easier if you have a friend, kid. “Your best friend should always be yourself. “Now don’t ooh and ah and say “that’s arrogant and conceited; just listen. “Over the years, you will, I hope, make many friends. “Every now and again, you will feel that this one “or that one is your very best friend. “Well, kid, friends are like you and me; “they’re not infallible. “Some will hurt you so much “that your heart will almost break. “Some will marry and drift away. “And we must face it, others will die, “through sickness or accident, and you will feel devastated. “Don’t rely on your friends to see you though. “Don’t expect any one person to feel he or she “has any responsibility for you and your happiness. “Kid, I hope you have many friends of all shapes and sizes, “countries and creeds. “But kid, try always to have your best friend as yourself, “so when you receive the hard knocks in life, “you will like yourself enough to help yourself up “and see yourself through it.”

Now, when I read that, that was pretty profound for me. And I truly believe that, that through this toughest of times, people have supported me, so this isn’t saying I didn’t get support and wonderful help from my friends and my family, but what I learned through all of that, that in the end it was still me that had to go to bed without my husband, that had to go to bed with autism running around the house. It was me that had to wake up in the morning without my husband and look at the new day. It was me that still had to deal with getting Thomas to school and the broken windows and the smashed-in walls.

You know, I remember going to psychiatrist with Thomas. And I was thinking, “Well what’s she gonna do? “He’s not gonna talk to her.” So, sure enough, he hid under the desk. And she was saying to me, and I was talking to her about his behavior and what I could do, and she was talking me through some stuff, and I go, “So what should I do when I go home tonight? “He’s still gonna kick in the walls.” She said, “Then maybe you have “to leave him kicking some walls.” And I said, “Could you do that? “Could you do that in your house?” And she said, “But Julie, I don’t have to. “This is your situation.”

And you can say that that wasn’t fair or she shouldn’t have said that, but that’s the reality of it, that I couldn’t take her home with me to do this. I had to still do it. I had to be the one that had to handle it. And no matter how much therapy or counseling or anything else, in the end it’s still me that has to apply the strategies. Now, when Thomas was getting speech therapy, the therapist said to me, “At one hour a week, I’m not gonna teach Thomas to talk; I’m gonna be teaching you to teach Thomas to talk, because you’re the one that’s gotta go home with it.” And so I had to know that I was worth getting up through all that pain, that I was worth dealing with all of those challenges. I had to be my own best friend, through all of that. Because people could only support me so much.

And then I had go to to bed with it. And I had to wake up with it. And that’s why it can be such a lonely journey. But that’s also why you have to know you’re worth it. And you reach out for help and you can, absolutely, and you take it when people offer it. But then you know that you do have to go to bed with it. And so, when I think about that, that was in me. That was in me, subconsciously and subliminally, that message was sitting in there somewhere.

So what are we exposing ourselves to? What are we reading, what are we absorbing? What messages are we hearing? And what are we exposing our children to? What’s their soft place to fall? And this is why I did my public show, so that you have access to the messages that I present, so that your children can have access to those messages.

That’s why I’ve got my Recharge Your Sparkle. Maybe that can be the soft place to fall, where you can access it online and you can revisit these messages, so that you’re getting, subliminally subconsciously, those messages of empowering up, those positive messages that your teenagers now can have access to that as well. I’ve added to my Recharge where I’ve added some extra modules for teenagers. And all that stuff’s available on my website. And if not that, somebody’s messages.

So read the books, fill yourself up, because you never know when you’ll be calling on that information.

So I’m pretty delighted that I found my little book of treasures and all that inspiration.

So thanks for stopping by. We’ll see you soon!

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