Autism: Positive and Negative

Yesterday after my show at a luncheon a gentleman came up to me and shared some of his journey of having a son living with Autism…

We talked about the maintaining your ‘sense of humour’ and finding the joy around the challenges… and how we wouldn’t have them any other way…

But we also talked about the tough stuff, how it nearly tore them apart as a couple (as it often does), and how they had to see sides of themselves that they didn’t like seeing… and then they had to grow through that.

All relationships ‘squeeze’ us and reveal a little more of who we are and we will find the sides of ourselves that still need a little work or that may need looking into.

And a relationship with Autism squeezes you like no other relationship. Somebody said to me once… ‘You are so different when Thomas is around’…. like it was so negative. Well no shit sherlock… he probably just called me a f*#kwit in the car and it may take me a minute to adjust my thinking and my mood… or maybe I am busy focusing on his interaction with the people around to make sure he doesn’t offend the ‘new’ company, or maybe I just noticed that they just brought out that food and it makes Thomas dry retch and it wouldn’t be the best thing in a crowd…. or he is going through a stage of spitting and I am just watching… or whatever… YES, I am a bit different.

And I have seen sides of myself that I don’t like, I have done and said things as a parent and have had to sit with my shame over that. But there is no walking away there is only growing through it. And if it wasn’t this relationship that showed all those sides of myself that needed healing or need sitting with and growing through, then it would be another one.

So, yes, Autism takes you to some ugly places but as we sit with the worst of ourselves we discover the best of ourselves and I have Thomas with Autism along for the ride to thank for that… and of course I am a work in progress…

So, I applaud this gentleman and his wife for nurturing each other through a great personal challenge, for still loving each other through the worst of themselves, and for doing the tough stuff to get to the great stuff.

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