I wrote this 3 years ago and I have now found the road I need to travel down, and the next chapter has truly begun… and feel a little less lost these days…
Love to reflect on where I have been and where I find myself now… the path reveals itself as you take each step… trust.
* * *
You would think that after 11 years,
You would have cried all your tears,
Tears of sadness, tears of despair,
Tears of hope, tears of care,
Tears of hopelessness and devastation,
At what felt like a hopeless situation?
But then they came like a waterfall,
You really just had been trying to stand tall,
And now you see that although you did good,
Even better than you ever thought that you could,
You suddenly realised that when Jack got to eighteen,
And Thomas was then also, well a capable teen,
You wondered what the future was for you,
Where would you go what would you do?
Who are you from here Ms Julie Cross?
Where do you go now, is it in a coin toss?
Or are you really Ms Julie Kent from here on in?
Why are you even thinking about it? Just take it on the chin..
Well you see, it is because she is feeling lost and in between,
Between the life she had and the one she has not yet seen,
She can’t sit comfortably, and walks around and around,
Just waiting, wondering, wishing and hoping to be found,
If somebody could just give a hint of what is coming next,
Perhaps technology means the big guy could just send me a text?
And then as I started to type, it just popped into my head,
Are you serious, just feel and listen…bugger that texting, the voice said,
Julie, you have found faith and trust for the future of your boys,
And that without a doubt will be the source of many joys,
Now please allow yourself the very same pleasure,
Quick where oh where can we find you a feather,
To communicate right now with great care and great love,
You too, are allowed to rely in the trust and faith from above,
The path will be revealed every step of the way,
We are listening to all that you do and all that you say,
Please don’t stop it, if you feel it, cry and cry some more,
But know for sure that you have now opened the door,
The door to a wonderful next chapter of your life,
And that doesn’t hinge on being somebody’s wife,
It is about you continuing to fill your life purpose,
This is so much deeper than anything on the surface,
So Julie Cross, Kent and aka Ms Sparkle, you who glitters,
There are some people, who may appear to be quitters,
No judgement, no condemning no name calling,
But you will not be there; you will not be falling,
You will be calling them to shine, to stand up and stand tall,
You will be inspiring and empowering and answering a call,
A call to live your truth and to do it straight,
Because if you don’t it will become a truth ache,
And you now know you have come too far over the line,
To go back to what you thought was comfortable… you will be fine,
So come on now, sparkle up my friend,
This is simply a new beginning not an end,
You are entering a most beautiful space,
One that you will love owning as your (k)new place,
It is filled with amazing people, experiences, joy and great love,
And we are always here, caring and applauding from up here above.
And just remember, just because you are seen to be courageous and strong,
It is still OK to have a vulnerable and sad day, that is not bad or wrong,
And just because you wear sparkle and people see you receive applause and you shine,
Well that doesn’t mean sometimes you are not coping and not feeling fine,
The strong and the brave still need to be hugged and reassured,
And need somebody every now and again to lean on and to hold open the door.