"> When tough love is a more loving response - Julie Cross

When tough love is a more loving response

As some of you know I have had a situation with my investment property… it is all stuff that can be fixed, it will take my time, my energy and my money… grateful that I have a property to fix, grateful that I have some insurance, grateful for all lf that… yes, have done all of that work… but here is what worries me more and makes me wonder how we ‘fix’ the bigger problem here.

You see the tenants stopped paying rent… I gave them extra time, and sympathy… they had hit hard times, they were working on it and promises were made… and then not met… and so the usual processes took place and procedures followed… procedures I understand to make sure everybody is respected and looked after.

Well, still they didn’t pay and after my real estate agent went to personally see them after they ignored all contact, they pretty much said that they couldn’t find the money and wouldn’t…

The tenants were given notice to leave and then my real-estate agent went through the procedure of going to court to evict… now this was just before Christmas… my agent did challenge the judge on who has the heart for the owner? Mum and Dad investors trying to get ahead so they don’t have to rely on the Government in retirement and in the meantime providing much needed housing??

So the judge in this moment has a stage… a stage to communicate a message, to give a lesson, to inspire personal responsibility but instead the judge took the view…. ‘I have a heart and I am not going to evict these people before Christmas..’

Now I have a heart too, a big one… but the subliminal message right here is, ‘It is Ok to live in this persons house (because surely they must be rich, right?), it is Ok to sit here and not pay rent and let somebody else pay your way for a bit longer’ and so they did and then in that period of time between when we went to court and when they finally got notice to leave (after Christmas and New Year), well they did a whole lot of damage and left a whole lot of shit for us to clean up… (‘Oh well, they probably have insurance, they can afford it…. who gives a shit…’ that would have been the attitude). And perhaps some tough love was needed here and a more loving response would have been to make evict them and so empower them to own their shit and take responsibility so they can learn how to do it better… I mean nobody should feel that living like this is all they have got?

Now this house is old, and yes, it needed some TLC… but that is NO excuse for malicious damage and living with such disrespect for yourself and the property where you live. I have been to third world countries where they live on dirt floors and they are out every morning sweeping the dirt… pride… personal pride, discipline, self worth… the foundation that all of life’s decisions, happiness, love, success, peace, and joy launch from.

I don’t feel angry at these tenants, I feel sad for them… they surely can’t be living happy and joyful lives living like this… perhaps they were not given the lessons by parents, but they are adults now and still didn’t get the lesson from the judge, from society, and they were not given the opportunity to stand up, take responsibility so that they could begin again, instead they had their negative behaviour in someway validated, so where to for them from here…and that also makes me sad.

But I am happy, I did get those lessons, I am prepared to do what it takes to do the work and as we clean up, fix and upgrade this little old house and get it ready to be a lovely home for somebody new I also get an emotional and mental workout, growing that bit more, exercising those muscles of self-discipline, resilience while maintaining love and positive expectation. And let us all remember you will never get to the better views, the better homes, the better places unless you appreciate, look after and be grateful for the view, the home and the place you have!

And I feels so grateful to my amazing insurance company, CGU, that have been supporting me each step of the way… there’s a good news story!

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